Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
