i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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