dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I could fuck to npr.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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