i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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