When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
someone owes me an orgasm
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
