Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
