I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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