I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You took a bar mat shot.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
