It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
