dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
