ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
