bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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