sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
