I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize