You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
