I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
