Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize