I love black thongs
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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