New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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