i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
