Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Your cock deserves a montage
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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