Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
