Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
