I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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