I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
