Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
bring money and cleavage
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
