oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
