if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
