I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
