It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
