The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
