hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Randomize