Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Come see our sink grown plant.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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