you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
