Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize