It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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