please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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