Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
