I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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