Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
