CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
