She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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