i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
