Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
