C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
