Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
