was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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