I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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