4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
