she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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