tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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