Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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