I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
