How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
