Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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