I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
