I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
