Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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